Be Scared, Very Scared

Those of you who have lived in small towns may be accustomed to reading the Police Reports in the local papers. In four years of Chicago living, I don't think I once read any Police Reports, and that may be the reason I enjoyed reading the Bozeman Daily Chronicle's Police Reports last night.
*An erratic driver in a pick-up with oversized tires on Interstate 90 at 1:49am was found to be an inexperienced driver rather than under the influence of alcohol or drugs. A deputy gave the driver and an intoxicated passenger a ride to the KOA campgrounds at Four Corners.
*An impending fight at Bozeman Hot Springs around 2:30am never materialized.
*A caller reported about 11:30am that a man in a black convertible was reading a book while driving on Interstate 90.
*A deputy left a note in a sock for two boys who were burying several in the sand near River Rock Pond saying, "Please pick up your socks and stop burying them." The boys had been reported at 1:12pm, burying and then uncovering the socks and removing contents that had been placed inside. The deputy previously found one sock containing one candy wrapper, a stick and several gun pellets.
*Three men left the Willow Creek Bar and Saloon without paying for their meal at 10:04pm.
And my personal favorite....
*An errant sheep found with a bloody head was apparently the cause of a smashed, sliding-glass door at a residence on Merrell Lane in Belgrade as reported at 8:17pm. (An errant sheep?!)

Looks like the Police Reports alone will be worth the price of a subscription. If impending fights and errant sheep are all we have to worry about around here, we have arrived!